It's been awhile...

Man I can't believe what has happened the last month or so. We have had a baby shower, sickness, vacation, new babies born, and surgery. Our family has been real busy this last month with birthdays, family functions, and lots of busy weekends. Hopefully it will slow down soon.

Well let's start off with a quick run down of all the exciting adventures for this month. We started it off with a baby shower for my sister in law Kenzi. We partied like no other. That little cute niece of mine has everything she ever needs and all those bows we made was pretty crazy. She will be one stylish baby doll. I even made her a great diaper cake with a couple of cute bows she can wear. I got to meet her a couple of weeks after the baby shower. I snuggled her and kissed her sweet baby head. I couldn't believe how little she was, but in reality she is just the perfect size for a new born. It's crazy to think that Ryker was so much smaller and shorter then her. It was really fun to see how much hair she has though. Her princess like features are adorable. She is such a sweet baby.

We have been trying to keep Ryker a happy healthy little boy this past month for his surgery that is taken place today. Sometimes I get frustrated because some people just don't understand how serious a sickness can be for my little man. Reminding people not to come over, or we can't be around those that are sick. Some people are in denial of how sick their kids are or that it's just a little runny nose. My kid is just tired. It's s touchy subject sometimes, but for my little man a little cold your kid has or a small virus that makes your kid throw up can and probably will make Ryker go to the hospital. I am such a mama bear when it comes to that kind of thing. I feel like we can't be around some people because we just don't know until it's too late. Well we made it through this crazy sickness month with no hiccups. Hopefully the rest of the cold and flu sickness season will be successful. Thank goodness we are still getting the RSV shot. Next year will be a more of a worry story without it.

We had a family vacation this last month. We traveled to Saint George for the parade of homes and warm weather. I am not going to lie, that weather was like a dream. Cool breezes, wonderful sun shine, and beautiful red rock. It was pretty awesome! The houses we saw were pretty cool too! It gave us lots of ideas on what to do to our next house. Ryker did ok. We had some mishaps such as loosing his bottle and leaving his nasal cannula at home. oops. Luckly for me, I was prepared with extras. We even had a mishap with Ryker getting allergies. But overall it was a success and hopefully we can get go on a longer one in the summer time.

We also had another baby born last week. Baby Jonas Julian Younkin. He totally looks like his daddy. Congrats Daddy Jeromy! I am so excited to be an aunt to your cute son! Your going to be such a great parent!

Birthdays are always a joy in January and February. We have Grandma Sheila, Tyce, Mommy, and Uncle Josh all within a couple of weeks of each other. Crazy! We celebrated with tons of cake, ice cream and family get together. My birthday this year was epic. We went to nickle mania to play arcade games and won little Ryker some awesome toys! Uncle Jeromy came up with an idea of going through all the machines a getting the extra coins. It was brilliant when we needed a few more tickets for an amazing Snake and Hat! I am loving getting some gaming time in with my two brothers. It's nice to live close to them.

We went to the new provo temple open house this past week. It was AMAZING! They used so much of the historical stuff from the old tabernacle. Ryker and I got to hang with Sadie and Josh all weekend. They slept at our house for two nights, we made skirts while the boys played video games. Bonding time! We even did a little dance dance to the kinec! Great times!

So a little while ago I was told because Ryker is special needs and will most likely be on an IEP, he will start Preschool next year, Like 2017! Makes me happy, excited, nervous, and anxious. He is doing so well. I can't believe we are here in his development state. He is impressing everyone mostly his mama. Well with this new information we have decided that we maybe moving more south to Utah county. There are a couple of great programs for Ryker that we are interested in and we are thinking because of all our stairs it would be beneficial for Ryker if we built a house that is all one level. He isn't walking yet, but int he future he will be using a walker or a wheel chair or something and our stairs will just not work. We have needed to be here in this house for family and decisions of others makes it so we need to be here. But I feel like our time is coming to an end here and it will be time for us to move again for Ryker. God really puts us where are need to be and we always find out reasons why we were suppose to do the things we do. God is amazing in showing us the tender mercies, miracles, and blessings when we follow his path and way for each of us. I feel often that Ryker has come to remind me of the miracles in my life and of God's plan for me. My little man humbles me everyday and keeps me on the straight and narrow path back to God. I have also noticed the amazing change in those around him. His grandpa once told me that Ryker is here to save our precious family. He is here to show us the way. Relationships and hearts have changed in both sides of our families because of Ryker's influence.

I sure do love my little Ryks. He amazes me everyday.  Ryker is so close to our Heavenly Father, He is always happy and patient and courageous. He is one of the bravest little boys I know. Today showed me how brave that kid is. After surgery he had is eyes open (after they were bleeding and sore) he was ready to play and smiled all day at the hospital. The only thing that upset him was how hungry he was, after the bottle he was ready to rock and roll. All the nurses were amazed at how happy he was after surgery. Once again he proved to his mom how special and brave he is in this sweet life of his. We went home after only a few short hours of coming out of surgery. I was expecting to stay over night like all the other experiences we have had this last year.

This last surgery made me grateful for all the amazing things Ryker does in his little life. There were many kids in the surgery waiting room that have far more complications then Ryker. He is finally over all his crazy his of medical problems. All of them have been fixed and now he is finally like other kids. NORMAL. Well Ryker normal, but still he is on the right path to improvement. Ryker is special and I hope all that can have the pleasure of being with him can feel how special he is.

January has flown by!

Wow! I can't believe how fast January has gone by. I feel like we were just getting over the holidays and now February is in two days.
As I sit here thinking back a year ago, we were getting home from Primary Children's for the long and scary stay at the hospital. We were told many times Ryker wasn't doing well and he was dropping his oxygen to the teen's. We even signed papers stating the hospital wasn't liable for Ryker's situation if we chose to go home without being trached. They basically told us he was going to die, but that thought never ever not even being born early came to my mind. I never felt that worry or stress. The only stress I felt was help my baby so we could go home. I really just wanted out of there because they weren't doing anything for him that I couldn't do at home. Well I sit here and think, I am so glad I followed my mother's intuition. I am so grateful that our Heavenly Father speaks to us directly through the holy ghost. If I didn't have him and the priesthood blessings in our little family, I wouldn't have made it. I think over and over again how amazing Ryker is. He is the reason for me to remember our Heavevly Father. I will never be able to forget all the miracles. I have been so close to him this past year. Having Ryker in our family has truly changed my heart, faith, and patience. I don't know if I could have learned what I did without him and our year of trials has made me a different person.

This past week my sweet niece Naya Garcia was born. Unfortunately, with sick kids and conflicting scheduling we haven't made it over to see her. I want to snuggle that precious thing. But I hate to admit, I am slightly jealous of how perfect she is. The first time I saw Ryker he was so little with tubes. I didn't realize how hard things would be from that day on. This little sweet girl is so lucky not to live the hard medical life Ryker has been given and it makes me hurt inside to know it's not over for him. He will always have a surgery to wait for, doctors to see, and therapists to push him. He won't have the normal kid life like this sweet baby will with of all the appointments and people staring. My nephew who is four is already asking me questions like why is Ryker different? Why are his hands crippled? Why can't he walk like other kids? It has hit me, these are going to be questions I have to answer all the time. Ryker will have to answer these questions when he is older. I am scared to think of how kids will treat him.It's sad that all these fears and emotions come to me when I see my sweet niece. Sometimes I wish I had a kid that fit the normal kid picture, but then I remember all the miracles and tender mercies of have seen. I remember that Ryker has a special purpose here. I love being his mom. I am grateful to be his mom, but I know I am not perfect. Those thoughts do come into my mind sometimes, but I remember all the blessings we have with my little man and I know in my heart he was sent to me for a reason. So no matter how different you are my beautiful Ryker, I will always love you and you will always be normal in mommy's world.

2016...What will you be?

It's a new year, with new goals, new adventures, and new family bond. Lately I have been pondering Ryker's Baby blessing from last year. Somethings have stuck out to me. Be able to control your body, Focus on what you need to focus on, Being able to breath on your own, Run and jump like any other kid, eating on your own, nothing serious will be wrong. It's a huge eye opener to me to see all these amazing things happen in my little man's life. I don't know how people can't believe in a loving Heavenly Father. He is real. I testifiy of that known truth. My loving and kind Heavenly Father has blessed my son with all those things. When he was born deep down I doubted for a minute. I wasn't sure it would happen, but seeing all the miracles that happened this last year, WOW! it's a testimony builder to know God is real, He loves us, He is there, and He knows ALL!  

In Relief Society this week we were taught about tender mercies. This too is another testimony builder for me. I have seen so many tender mercies in little Ryker's life this past year. Those are the things that have got me through this hard year. I believe that if we find those tender mercies and recognize them in our lives, we will see more miracles and have a stronger testimony of those things we struggle to believe. The more I open my heart the bigger my vision gets to see the big picture of this life and God's plan. I was reading the other day about someone from High School I played softball with recently lost her baby boy. He was only alive for 35 minutes because he was born with no brain. It got me thinking about God's Plan. No matter there is always a plan. I may have been blessed to have Ryker stay a live and be with us, but if it was God's plan he could not be here. There is a reason Ryker is here, I don't know what the reason, but it's a special mission just like all of us have. God places us where he needs us. He guides us to where we need to go. We need to recognize that God is in charge not us, There are many people here on earth that are lost. We need to help them recognize God's hand in their lives.

This month has been a busy one. We started the month off with Great Grandma Allen's yearly Christmas party. It was a little late this year, but we got to see some people there that are usually not there. Melissa and her wonderful cute red heads came. It was really good to see them. They are like my favorites ever!. We ate and enjoyed everyone's company.  It was really good to see everyone. We need to so more with that side of the family. I do have fun with them. This month, I also got a get surprise when I walked into the Joann's fabrics and crafts and saw an old friend of mine. She was a huge part of my life when I was in High School and I don't think I would be where I am without her influence and example. I truly have missed her in my life and I am so glad I ran into her. She got to meet Ryker and I got to caught up with her for a few minutes. It brought back so many memories and good times with those ladies at Joanns. I would love to work for Michelle again. She was one of the best Bosses I have ever worked for. I will have to make some more stops there to visit. The ladies at Joanns helped me go on a mission and they were dedicated writers every week. I felt there love every week I received a letter from them. I appreciate all they have done for me.

The other day I got to see another great example to me while I was in High School. Jerri Phelps was a great influence on me. I really needed her through some of those crazy times. I sure loved spending time with her the other day and caught up on what has been happening with her and her family. Life is crazy. Things are so different and people have changed so much. I can't believe I am where I am today because things could have gone a different way. WOW! I am feeling so grateful for all those amazing influences I had while I was so young in the gospel. I needed them to guide me to be a better person and follow the right path.

Another great experience I had this month was getting together with some amazing Sorelle from my mission. I have missed them so much. We had such a great time together and we grow together. One of my favorites Misha Greer really bonded with Ryker. She just seemed like she connected with him like not many do. It was great to see her and feel her support through my struggles this past year. I absolutely love her to death. Another great example is my other companion I hung out with is Melissa Moorehead Wilde. She is moving to saint George. I am super sad about it because we didn't get to hang out like we should have. But she taught me to have fun and relax. I had some great companions in the mission. Heavenly Father knew what I needed and I am so grateful for each and everyone. They all taught me something different. Missions are amazing! Everyone needs to experience a mission. It makes you grow in ways you would never think.

Last post for 2015! Let's look back!

I am turning over a new leaf for next year. My life, wow! I am finally accepting it. It's amazing right now. Heavenly Father has showed me that he always offers peace after the storm and the last year has been our blizzard storm. Parker and I have talked about how hard this year has been, not only individually, but for the entire family. Ryker has been a trooper, we have trudged through full force and it has been hard. To be honest, this last year has been the hardest trial and storm I have personally experienced. With my parents getting divorced, my grandparents dying, teachings, and all the crazy things we have gone through being married, this has trumped all of them. But thinking back, those trails made it easier for me to push through this last year. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but if it came to it I know I could make it again. Idaho was our trial to grow as a couple and to improve our marriage. We grew together and without that experience we probably wouldn't have been strong enough to make it. We got thrown into the games with a strong front because of the experiences in Idaho. We worked together to become stronger. It was not easy and we almost gave up, but we made it. Our life is better for it. Heavenly Father sure does know what we can and can't take. He was preparing us for Ryker. Together and Individually. Our family needed to be strong and our marriage needed to be strong to take on all Ryker's challenges. The money challenges in Rexburg made us realized we needed to be prepared better for the future, which it paid off in the end. When we needed family in Idaho, we realized we had it with our ward family. That ward really showed us how a ward is suppose to be, They were amazing at helping others carry their burdens and love each other not matter what. Here we needed our actually family for this last year trails. It was always nice to have someone to talk to and cry to when times were tough. Our family relationships has become stronger and hearts have changed making our family stronger. I have also realized over that past couple of months is that Parker is the perfect dad for Ryker. He is not judgemental and he just is so patient toward him. He doesn't see all his problems, he just loves him for who he is. I love Parker for that. So fathers could take it hard and that would have made it harder on me. I took longer to accept the fact that Ryker will always be special needs, Parker on the other hand accepted it quickly and moved on fast. It was inspiring and impressing. I need to be more accepting of hard things. He is a great example of that. Ryker has made a huge difference in our family and our extended families. He has been an answer to a lot of our family dramas. Hearts have really become softer and love has been show more this last year.

The last couple of weeks of this year have been memorable. We have had many Christmas parties with families. See everyone and realizing how much change that has happened the last 12 months has been incredible. We partied at the Meyers' house right before Christmas. Unfortunately Ryker and Parker were both sick so I attended with Tanner and his kids. This last sickness for Ryker has been an eye opener. I am realizing he is just a kid now, not a medically depend special needs child. I don't worry about him being sick anymore. I know he will be okay and it doesn't stress me out like it use to. We went to the new Star Wars movie with Colby and Susan. It was nice to see friends this past couple of weeks. I really feel like our lives are starting to become normal again. Thanks goodness, it has been a long time coming. We also have many sleepovers at Clyde and Sheila's house. It's been great to have Ryker bond with his grandparents. He is recognizing faces and people so he will have a lasting relationship with them. Christmas was memorable. We partied at our house this year. We started a new tradition of playing games and winning prizes. It was fun to have everyone together. Also, Jeromy has been hanging out at our house this past week. I love it when he stays here. I have found a deep appreciation for him. He is a great big brother and I look up to him so much. He is just trying to be a great future dad. I have seen so much change in him this past year and our relationship has improved to much in the last couple of months. He is truly one of my best friends and I hope it continues. We also have some fun coming up in the next couple of day. Parting again with the Allen family for new years and we also have Great Grandma's party on the 2nd of January. But I guess you will have to wait for that update in 2016.

Thinking about all that has happened this year, we have come so far, Last year at this time, Ryker was strictly fed through a tube. He struggled hard to breath. Ryker was so fragile and small. We worried and stressed about his often, not just only 12 months later he has his gtube gone, he is breathing on his own without oxygen, and he is growing to the point that the doctors said he is too fat and needs to go on a diet. lol. Ryker's life is great which makes all our lives less stressful and more full of appreciation. We are hoping life will be not so stressful and full of life. We will be taking our first family vacation out of Utah next year so hopefully that will be successful. The PJs adventure is pushing forward and we look forward to what it will be next year. Thanks for following this year!

Winter is Finally Here!

Well this has been a very exciting weekend for us Allen's. We got to have our traditional Allen Family Christmas Party at Grandma Sheila's house. It was so much fun gathering together to make Gingerbread houses, eat yummy food, and watching Christmas shows together. I was feeling very blessed, loved and appreciated for all that has done for our beautiful family. Christmas Season always makes you realize how blessed and lucky you are. It makes you appreciate all you have and the family around you. It is nice to be here, even though I have no been so appreciative of it pretty much all year. But during Christmas time and the holidays it makes you love and appreciate your family. I love this time of year! I am realizing that living here we can spend sometime with family and have Ryker get to know his Aunts, Uncles, and grandparents. He needs it. Sheila does such a great job making Christmas time special. She always makes Christmas so special and very memorable. I feel like she out does herself every year I truly appreciate all her sentimental amazingness and willingness to love everyone. It inspires me to be better. She makes the holidays special and I look forward to it each year. We have great traditions coming together in our family. We are going to starting living up all the winter fun activities that are around. Christmas lights, parties, Christmas movies, hot coco, etc. We are going to start our traditions this year now that Ryker is starting to become aware of everything. Well the traditions Sheila has started for our grandma fun are pretty exciting and I know Ryker will love them once he understands all of the magic of Christmas. Ryker got this Minon that sings baby lullabies and he loves it. We use it every night now. ha. Great gift.  Sheila really made it a special Christmas this year.

We woke up to 9 inches of snow this morning. It really is a winter wonderland outside. It makes Christmas more magical. I think Snow is magic because you look outside and everything is colorful yet all the leaves are starting to die. But snow makes it sparkle. It's like it takes all the crazy colors and makes them a clean slate and it's like starting a new painting. Reminds me of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It's like making a clean canvas and making the painting all over again.  It was pretty amazing to see everything so clean and white. Another reminder of why we celebrate this Christmas season. The Savior is our world, our life, and our meaning. Every time I see the purity of fresh white snow it reminds me of all the blessing and miracles the Savior has done for me. It's perfect to think of how Heavenly Father created something so pure for us to remember our Savior.  I hope we all can remember his amazing miracle and gift he gave us all year around and not just for Christmas. Check out this video it really puts this gift into perspective.

Our Year Summed up in a little book

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Christmas is Just Around the Corner

It's been almost a month since my last post. I have been pretty busy the last couple of weeks with school and yard work. This semester for school has been a challenge. I have loved my class this time around, but it really has stretched my thinking. I have had to do some much thinking and reflecting on my life. This course has changed my future plans for my career, if I ever get to take my career to the next level. Ryker is my major priority right now.  But I can finally say all my weeds are pulled and my leaves are raked. It was a very hard back breaking process, but I give it permission to snow now. It would be nice to get snow for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, this year I have been so excited about the holidays. I had fun making wreaths and garlands for my house decor and it's been two years since I put up a Christmas tree. To be honest with all the crazy trails that have been thrown at us this year, I have finally can breath again. The happiness Parker and I found in Idaho, we finally have it hear. Ryker is doing well, we finally can breath with medical bills paid for, and I hate to admit it, but we are getting closer to family. I haven't been this happy for such a long time. I am a different person these days.

Ryker has improved so much the last couple of months. He did just get foot braces. They will help his little chubby ankles stabilize his knees so he can stand properly. So far he doesn't mind them. He also got big boy toddler glasses. Oh my little Ryks looks so cute in his glasses. We had an appointment with the eye doc. We were told that Ryker's vision has improved so much. He is loving the fact that he can see things and pay attention to your face. He suggested one more eye muscle surgery. The date is set for February 12th. Hopefully it goes well. Surgery is always a stressful thing, but honestly I am not worried about it. Ryker proved to me that he can handle it. He is a fighter and he fights everyday and makes his mama proud!  The doc said that if everything goes well, Ryker may not need glasses or if he does he will have a different prescription. Thankful hearts are in the Allen home these days.

Thanksgiving was a great day. We spend the week at the parents house so Ryker could spend sometime with his grandparents. It's been really fun having Ryker get to know them and share time with them. It also has been nice to have a baby that is not medically dependent. We can actually do things as a family and enjoy doing things together. We will be spending Christmas with them here at our house. I admit it is nice to have family around so Ryker can get to know them. We went to a Christmas Party for kids with special needs. We brought the parents with us. It was nice because I actually felt like we fit there. That is where we are suppose to be. It was an eye opener. I do think we will be doing more activities like that more often. It will not only help me develop lasting friendships, but when Ryker is older he can get friends that are like him. Special!

I got to do service at the bishops store house a couple of weeks ago. It was an interesting experience. It actually took me back to when my family got food from the church. Many years we had to do service at the store house. I never had the chance and I am not sure why. I guess my parents must have done it or maybe it just didn't get done. But I am grateful for the storehouse. Heavenly Father really blessed my family when I was younger. I didn't realize how poor we were until later in life. My parents were really good at hiding it. I hope my kids don't have to experience what I had to experience, but if they do I know we will all love each other and be blessed for it.

Once again I am humbled with my life situations and the trails I have gone through. As much as I believe what I have been through I remember things could always be worse and I will always get through the trials. This week in Relief Society we talked about trials and relying on God. It's been one of those years where I have needed him the most. I just remember we all need him. We all go through things that makes us stronger and have more faith. You know I feel like Heavenly Father is allowing more and more trials in our lives because life is getting harder. He needs us to have more faith and be more diligent I can't wait for another year of greatness. Heaven is not far. The last couple of weeks I have been pondering on all the families we knew that have lost a baby. I have often think that could have been us last year. We could have been without Ryker for this Christmas, but Heaven Father had a different plan. I am truly blessed and grateful he had a different plan for us.

These Pictures are Family Photo for 2015! My little guy has changed so much! What a happy little man he is!

We have come a long ways in a year! This is our family Pictures from Last December! Ryker's First Christmas!