Wow! I can't believe how fast January has gone by. I feel like we were just getting over the holidays and now February is in two days.
As I sit here thinking back a year ago, we were getting home from Primary Children's for the long and scary stay at the hospital. We were told many times Ryker wasn't doing well and he was dropping his oxygen to the teen's. We even signed papers stating the hospital wasn't liable for Ryker's situation if we chose to go home without being trached. They basically told us he was going to die, but that thought never ever not even being born early came to my mind. I never felt that worry or stress. The only stress I felt was help my baby so we could go home. I really just wanted out of there because they weren't doing anything for him that I couldn't do at home. Well I sit here and think, I am so glad I followed my mother's intuition. I am so grateful that our Heavenly Father speaks to us directly through the holy ghost. If I didn't have him and the priesthood blessings in our little family, I wouldn't have made it. I think over and over again how amazing Ryker is. He is the reason for me to remember our Heavevly Father. I will never be able to forget all the miracles. I have been so close to him this past year. Having Ryker in our family has truly changed my heart, faith, and patience. I don't know if I could have learned what I did without him and our year of trials has made me a different person.
This past week my sweet niece Naya Garcia was born. Unfortunately, with sick kids and conflicting scheduling we haven't made it over to see her. I want to snuggle that precious thing. But I hate to admit, I am slightly jealous of how perfect she is. The first time I saw Ryker he was so little with tubes. I didn't realize how hard things would be from that day on. This little sweet girl is so lucky not to live the hard medical life Ryker has been given and it makes me hurt inside to know it's not over for him. He will always have a surgery to wait for, doctors to see, and therapists to push him. He won't have the normal kid life like this sweet baby will with of all the appointments and people staring. My nephew who is four is already asking me questions like why is Ryker different? Why are his hands crippled? Why can't he walk like other kids? It has hit me, these are going to be questions I have to answer all the time. Ryker will have to answer these questions when he is older. I am scared to think of how kids will treat him.It's sad that all these fears and emotions come to me when I see my sweet niece. Sometimes I wish I had a kid that fit the normal kid picture, but then I remember all the miracles and tender mercies of have seen. I remember that Ryker has a special purpose here. I love being his mom. I am grateful to be his mom, but I know I am not perfect. Those thoughts do come into my mind sometimes, but I remember all the blessings we have with my little man and I know in my heart he was sent to me for a reason. So no matter how different you are my beautiful Ryker, I will always love you and you will always be normal in mommy's world.
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
2016...What will you be?
It's a new year, with new goals, new adventures, and new family bond. Lately I have been pondering Ryker's Baby blessing from last year. Somethings have stuck out to me. Be able to control your body, Focus on what you need to focus on, Being able to breath on your own, Run and jump like any other kid, eating on your own, nothing serious will be wrong. It's a huge eye opener to me to see all these amazing things happen in my little man's life. I don't know how people can't believe in a loving Heavenly Father. He is real. I testifiy of that known truth. My loving and kind Heavenly Father has blessed my son with all those things. When he was born deep down I doubted for a minute. I wasn't sure it would happen, but seeing all the miracles that happened this last year, WOW! it's a testimony builder to know God is real, He loves us, He is there, and He knows ALL!
In Relief Society this week we were taught about tender mercies. This too is another testimony builder for me. I have seen so many tender mercies in little Ryker's life this past year. Those are the things that have got me through this hard year. I believe that if we find those tender mercies and recognize them in our lives, we will see more miracles and have a stronger testimony of those things we struggle to believe. The more I open my heart the bigger my vision gets to see the big picture of this life and God's plan. I was reading the other day about someone from High School I played softball with recently lost her baby boy. He was only alive for 35 minutes because he was born with no brain. It got me thinking about God's Plan. No matter there is always a plan. I may have been blessed to have Ryker stay a live and be with us, but if it was God's plan he could not be here. There is a reason Ryker is here, I don't know what the reason, but it's a special mission just like all of us have. God places us where he needs us. He guides us to where we need to go. We need to recognize that God is in charge not us, There are many people here on earth that are lost. We need to help them recognize God's hand in their lives.
This month has been a busy one. We started the month off with Great Grandma Allen's yearly Christmas party. It was a little late this year, but we got to see some people there that are usually not there. Melissa and her wonderful cute red heads came. It was really good to see them. They are like my favorites ever!. We ate and enjoyed everyone's company. It was really good to see everyone. We need to so more with that side of the family. I do have fun with them. This month, I also got a get surprise when I walked into the Joann's fabrics and crafts and saw an old friend of mine. She was a huge part of my life when I was in High School and I don't think I would be where I am without her influence and example. I truly have missed her in my life and I am so glad I ran into her. She got to meet Ryker and I got to caught up with her for a few minutes. It brought back so many memories and good times with those ladies at Joanns. I would love to work for Michelle again. She was one of the best Bosses I have ever worked for. I will have to make some more stops there to visit. The ladies at Joanns helped me go on a mission and they were dedicated writers every week. I felt there love every week I received a letter from them. I appreciate all they have done for me.
The other day I got to see another great example to me while I was in High School. Jerri Phelps was a great influence on me. I really needed her through some of those crazy times. I sure loved spending time with her the other day and caught up on what has been happening with her and her family. Life is crazy. Things are so different and people have changed so much. I can't believe I am where I am today because things could have gone a different way. WOW! I am feeling so grateful for all those amazing influences I had while I was so young in the gospel. I needed them to guide me to be a better person and follow the right path.
Another great experience I had this month was getting together with some amazing Sorelle from my mission. I have missed them so much. We had such a great time together and we grow together. One of my favorites Misha Greer really bonded with Ryker. She just seemed like she connected with him like not many do. It was great to see her and feel her support through my struggles this past year. I absolutely love her to death. Another great example is my other companion I hung out with is Melissa Moorehead Wilde. She is moving to saint George. I am super sad about it because we didn't get to hang out like we should have. But she taught me to have fun and relax. I had some great companions in the mission. Heavenly Father knew what I needed and I am so grateful for each and everyone. They all taught me something different. Missions are amazing! Everyone needs to experience a mission. It makes you grow in ways you would never think.
In Relief Society this week we were taught about tender mercies. This too is another testimony builder for me. I have seen so many tender mercies in little Ryker's life this past year. Those are the things that have got me through this hard year. I believe that if we find those tender mercies and recognize them in our lives, we will see more miracles and have a stronger testimony of those things we struggle to believe. The more I open my heart the bigger my vision gets to see the big picture of this life and God's plan. I was reading the other day about someone from High School I played softball with recently lost her baby boy. He was only alive for 35 minutes because he was born with no brain. It got me thinking about God's Plan. No matter there is always a plan. I may have been blessed to have Ryker stay a live and be with us, but if it was God's plan he could not be here. There is a reason Ryker is here, I don't know what the reason, but it's a special mission just like all of us have. God places us where he needs us. He guides us to where we need to go. We need to recognize that God is in charge not us, There are many people here on earth that are lost. We need to help them recognize God's hand in their lives.
This month has been a busy one. We started the month off with Great Grandma Allen's yearly Christmas party. It was a little late this year, but we got to see some people there that are usually not there. Melissa and her wonderful cute red heads came. It was really good to see them. They are like my favorites ever!. We ate and enjoyed everyone's company. It was really good to see everyone. We need to so more with that side of the family. I do have fun with them. This month, I also got a get surprise when I walked into the Joann's fabrics and crafts and saw an old friend of mine. She was a huge part of my life when I was in High School and I don't think I would be where I am without her influence and example. I truly have missed her in my life and I am so glad I ran into her. She got to meet Ryker and I got to caught up with her for a few minutes. It brought back so many memories and good times with those ladies at Joanns. I would love to work for Michelle again. She was one of the best Bosses I have ever worked for. I will have to make some more stops there to visit. The ladies at Joanns helped me go on a mission and they were dedicated writers every week. I felt there love every week I received a letter from them. I appreciate all they have done for me.
The other day I got to see another great example to me while I was in High School. Jerri Phelps was a great influence on me. I really needed her through some of those crazy times. I sure loved spending time with her the other day and caught up on what has been happening with her and her family. Life is crazy. Things are so different and people have changed so much. I can't believe I am where I am today because things could have gone a different way. WOW! I am feeling so grateful for all those amazing influences I had while I was so young in the gospel. I needed them to guide me to be a better person and follow the right path.
Another great experience I had this month was getting together with some amazing Sorelle from my mission. I have missed them so much. We had such a great time together and we grow together. One of my favorites Misha Greer really bonded with Ryker. She just seemed like she connected with him like not many do. It was great to see her and feel her support through my struggles this past year. I absolutely love her to death. Another great example is my other companion I hung out with is Melissa Moorehead Wilde. She is moving to saint George. I am super sad about it because we didn't get to hang out like we should have. But she taught me to have fun and relax. I had some great companions in the mission. Heavenly Father knew what I needed and I am so grateful for each and everyone. They all taught me something different. Missions are amazing! Everyone needs to experience a mission. It makes you grow in ways you would never think.
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