week 37 almost two months old

well folks its been a very stressful week. I have been a very worried mama. My little baby hasn't had a good week. We started off the week with his first bath. He wasn't sure what to think about it. He was a little worried and stressed for a minute. Then he realized he liked it. It was pretty cute.
Monday was when all the stressed started. We had a swallow study and things looked good at first. But then the trouble started when poor ryker got tired he started to aspirate fluid into his lungs and nose. This means no oral feedings for now. His lungs are inflamed and nose is all clogged due to this problem. He has struggled so much with breathing this week. I have been sad for him. He has had an awful week. At least he doesn't have an infection. Ryker is back on high flow oxygen to help his lungs and nose. He has been a lot more fussy and not sleeping as deep. The doctors are in a wait and see time frame. On Tuesday his breathing was so bad that we had to hold him up during every feeding for an hour and a half. pretty silly I thought. But I did it. Even grandma came to help hold him up at night time. Which pretty much pooped her out.  On Wednesday, I came in to find that poor little man's feet were so swollen and purple. I had the doctors take the holding up away and he seems to be breathing just fine. Well the doctors and I talked about feedings and what to do. The decision is a stomach feeding tube. He will have surgery the next couple of weeks to get it placed in his stomach. They are hopefully he will be able to eat normal, but right now he can't. So here we are another step forward. More stress for home and a little sad, but in his blessing he was promised to eat normal. I hold onto that. It might take a while, but he will get there. We are just waiting for his lungs to heal to get the tube in place. Then he can come home. Just a couple more weeks. I can handle it. I can't wait to get out of this place. And remind me never to have a premature baby again. It's hard work and very stressful!